My daughter had a friend over yesterday and I overheard them talking in the kitchen. One said to the other “do you want to talk bad about some people?” And they commenced to ridicule other kids they know. As their discussion progressed I could sense each individual ego growing, getting stronger, taking control of them. Our ego has a way of building us up by putting others down, giving us a false sense of pride. The ego also does the opposite at times convincing us we are not good enough. You see, even the ego works in duality, leaving us in a constant state of confusion.

When my girls were very young I would ask them what they remembered before they were born, if anything. Surprisingly to me they both mentioned having some memory of something but it wasn’t clear. As small children they seemed to have no ego at all. They were sweet, innocent and new.

Taoists refer to this natural state as “Pu, the uncarved block”.

When the uncarved wood is split,
Its parts are put to use.
When the sage is put to use,
He becomes the head.
The best way to carve is not to split.

Lao Tzu

When we are born into this world ego has not yet had a chance to take hold of us. As we grow and learn from our surroundings it grows stronger and stronger having us loose sight of who we truly are. It seems to me, from observation, that it starts to get a strong grasp right around the age of puberty and then takes off uncontrollably. Torturing us day to day, leaving us in a cloud of illusion, reeking havoc on our lives.