Attachment is the root of all suffering.

Think about that statement for awhile. Looking back on the past (which usually isn’t wise to do) I try to recollect times of most suffering in my life and what made them difficult. The death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship/friendship, changes to a status quo are all things that come to mind. All these events have something in common, a loss of something I had become attached to.

Even attachment to Ideas and beliefs come to mind. We tend to become so attached to things, ideas and people we make them apart of us. We hold on to something that was never meant to be held and never ours to begin with. Our minds and egos convince us they are ours. When the veil of ego and thought is lifted (usually by brute force), loosing these things truly feels like loosing a part of ourselves, it can even feel like apart of us is dying.

To help remedy this behavior, and the suffering that comes with it, Buddhists practice Non-attachment; not to be confused with Detachment which is the removal of your self from feelings and emotions for something or someone. Non-attachment is the understanding and realization that things and people do not belong to you, that you do not control or own them. There is nothing wrong with loving, in fact it is what you should do, but love without attachment, without desire or lust, without controlling or want. Love unselfishly and unconditionally.

One of my favorite writers is Kahil Gibran.: Kahil Gibran is one of those rare gifts that come along to show us the truth. I highly suggest reading his work. Visit the Connected Light Bookstore where I usually have some of his works in stock, if not it probably won’t be long before I do.

Kahil Gibran seemed to see past the veil of attachment. One of his most powerful poems that related to attachment is “On Children”:

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
     And he said:
     Your children are not your children.
     They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
     They come through you but not from you,
     And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

     You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
     For they have their own thoughts.
     You may house their bodies but not their souls,
     For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
     You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
     For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
     You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
     The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
     Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
     For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahil Gibran